Knickers in a Twist

Parenting and Lifestyle /

My little cheeky monkey is about to turn 2.  I have no excuses left.  It is time to get out of my rut, start taking more care of my appearance, and boost that confidence back to pre-pregnancy levels.  What better place to start than the purchase of new underwear.  Knickers to be precise.

Whilst my current stuff is OK, it isn’t very inspiring and it doesn’t ignite any passion.  In truth it is purely functional.  In fact, if I asked myself the question “if you got hit by a bus would you die of embarrassment at a room full of people seeing the choice of knickers you put on that morning”, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”

(I know what you are saying.  If I got hit by a bus I probably would die anyway and it would be irrelevant what I was wearing, but you get where I was going with this).

So with a new found sense of purpose I marched off to the only place to buy underwear from, good ol’ trusty M&S.  My only conditions were:

  1. No lace – I hate seeing patterns/hint of underwear through clothing
  2. No seams – As above
  3. No thongs – I must accept that I am not in my 20’s anymore.  After a certain age you just look ridiculous in them.  Bin them.

I spent ages looking around at all the different options – Shapewear, Shorts, Bikini, High Leg, French, Midi – and after much deliberation I decided on a style called “Brazilian”. It shows how long ago it was that I was last in the lingerie section as I didn’t even know that this style existed.

I raced home and with a new found sense of urgency I sorted through my knicker draw assessing which could now be relegated to dusters – actually the size and style that they were they could have probably been dustsheets – and which ones would live to see another day.  A few days later and with a skip in my step I ventured out in my new brazilian knickers.  In truth they weren’t that comfortable but I put it down to the fact that I just wasn’t used to them.  But after a few days of chafing, the discomfort of which had forced me to make a change to my usual walking style, I decided that enough was enough.  “Bloody brazilians”, “Just who was I trying to kid”, “Perhaps I am just the wrong shape”, “Probably just too old to look good in nice knickers anymore”,”perhaps my bum is just too big”, and then it hit me…….brazilians……..

I’d been wearing them back to front! 

Whilst it confirmed that I am completely out of step with the latest knicker fashions, there was also a huge sense of relief that my body isn’t the wrong shape, my bum isn’t too big, and I am not too old to look good in knickers.  Quite simply I am just clueless.  Clueless but with a new sense of confidence, a happier husband, and a new set of dustsheets.


Harry’s Honest Mummy x

51 Replies to “Knickers in a Twist”

  1. Well that is, frankly, amazing! & hilarious! & I have never heard of Brazilian knickers either! I also misread (on TWO read throughs, I may add) the ‘purely functional’ line in your second paragraph. As ‘fictional’. Your underwear was purely fictional. I’ll be honest, I was thinking that you may have taken post-pregnancy comfort too far! #bigfatlinky

  2. I’m not really qualified to comment on this but it made me laugh all the same. I once went to Sainsbury’s wearing no pants in the early days as we hadnt done any washing for days. I walked around in my jeans completely paranoid they were going to fall down at the checkouts. #fridayfrolics

  3. Brilliant post haha, my daughter is 16 months and I look so scruffy going out the house somedays, by the time I have washed, fed and dressed my daughter we are already late. I’ve been calling it my comfy look haha. Good on you for finding yourself sometime. #TwinklyTuesday

  4. Ha ha ha brilliant. Sounds like something I would do. My knickers are truly awful. Up and over my belly button and washed out flesh/grey coloured. Maybe I should enter the world of Brazilian pants.

  5. Oh my gosh you are hilarious, your post made my day, it is so something I would do too. Thanks for linking with #mummyandus

  6. Hahaha – I so need to do this. My youngest is 10 months old and I’m in a total rut. I think I own about two bras that actually fit, the others too big, or too small. I’ve not lost my baby weight, my hair is in a permanent scruffy bun and I’ve totally lost my mojo. If buying new pants is the way forward, I best get myself some ASAP!!! Feeling hopeful 🙊!! #Mummy&Us xxxxx

  7. Bah ha haaaaa! That brilliant! Not for your arse but for the giggle it gave me!
    I love the Brazilian short knicker – totally flattering and way better than the ginormicon granny post natal m&s pants I have! You go girl! #wineandboobs

  8. At least you didn’t buy lacy ones so people could see through your clothing that you were wearing them backwards!

  9. *snort* haha, sorry but this is funny! On the plus side at least you were wearing knickers if you did get hit by a bus……. thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst 😀 x

  10. Haha love it! I hate underwear! I am small in the arse and so I can never find any that snug the crack in my back. (that’s what I call my small bum) And I agree…I am no longer a fan of the thong! I am visiting from #sharewithme.

  11. Brilliant! And very funny. I for one have always found the name ‘Brazilian’ when related to pants has other connotations. Do I have to have a Brazilian to wear Brazilians? Perhaps you can settle this for me, if that’s not too personal 😉
    x Alice

  12. Such a fab post – it had me chuckling for sure! Im still living in my ‘dustsheets’ and should probably take note 🙂 Im glad your husband is a happier one – love it! #SundayStars

  13. This post had me in stitches. I am so glad that I am not the only person who does things like this. I don’t think I have ever worn knickers back to front. But I did once go to work wearing my dress back to front. It took me ages to work out why I was showing more cleavage than normal. Thank you for cheering up a rainy Sunday with your funny post. Thanks also for linking to #SundaysStars. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  14. Giggling lots… we all get stuck in a rut with underwear, mines all either cream or black and I’ve bought the same shorts set from a certain shop for years. It’s scary to make changes sometime but we learn stuff too! But I don’t think I could go as far as a Brazilian! Thanks for sharing on #SundayStars 🙂

  15. Hahaha! Loved this 🙂 I had the most GINORMO knickers after my c-section. Then when the boys were about 1 and a half I suddenly realised that I was STILL wearing them. They were like trawler nets. Literally. Needless to say, they’re gone now. I am now in ‘regular knickers’. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x

    Caro |

  16. Oh my goodness you made me laugh so hard glad it’s the latter and you feel great now. 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me, I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme

  17. lol what a fun post! I think you have spoken the truth for so many mommies – it takes until baby is around 2 to get back to yourself. I have quite the knicker collection – all different shapes & sizes, you have inspired me to clear out & get some new ones. #TwinklyTuesday x

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