One of the things about young children is that they say what they see. It is said with innocence but it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. There have been so many embarrassing moments that they have just become common place. Unfortunately my child doesn’t come with a volume control switch. When he wants to draw my attention to something he usually points at it or – even worse – he runs over to it. Over the last few months his observations have gone up a level as has my own embarrassment.
“Mummy he has funny eyes”
Harry was happily playing with a little boy at the play barn. We were quite some way from the climbing frame they were playing on so he shouted it. My husband and I were so shocked that we stopped mid sip of our coffee and sat there speechless. Because of our delayed response Harry thought we hadn’t heard him and shouted it even louder. By now most people could hear him and turned to look, including the little boy’s parents. To diffuse the situation I responded with “but aren’t they a beautiful colour”. So lame.
“Mummy that lady has a baby in her belly”
Said at the school nativity play which co-incidentally was the first meet and greet session for the parents. The thing is she wasn’t pregnant. There was very little I could do other than say “no sweetheart she isn’t”. I could see his brow furrow as he thought about his next question, so I very quickly made my excuses and we scurried off. I dread the next meeting at schools sports day.
“Mummy that man….”
Is in fact very similar to the situation above although this time we were in Sports Soccer (oh the irony). A rather large guy was trying on an XXXL sized T-shirt. I followed my son’s gaze and managed to intercept the pointing finger and the rest of the sentence. It cost me a pair of Spiderman wellies which was a small price to pay for distracting him.
“Mummy it is a little lady. She must be very old because she has shrunk”
As a treat, Harry and I went to our local farm shop. We invited along my friend and her daughter. As we walked in to the shop a lady with dwarfism was coming out. My heart sank. I felt his arm start to raise and saw the finger coming out. I took hold of his hand and managed to distract him with some Easter Eggs. The relief flowed through me.
I took the children in to the café and ordered the hot chocolates whilst my friend went off to buy some goodies. We found ourselves a table opposite the toilets. The two children were chatting away excitedly as they hadn’t seen each other for two weeks. And then the lady returned…….to make matters worse…..she stood right in front of our table……in a queue for the toilets……My heart sank as I just know my son and I knew what was about to happen, and sure enough it did.
His friend turned to look in the direction he was pointing and agreed that she “was a very little lady”. Then they began quizzing me whether she was a big little girl? Or a little big girl? Their little brains were just bursting with one question after another. For a split second I thought I was on one of those candid camera shows. I was sweating. I tried the grown up approach of explaining that some people were smaller than others – but let’s face it they are 3 they don’t DO grown up approaches.
In a hushed voice I told them that they didn’t need to comment on everything they saw, but then they asked “why”, I had no answer other than “you just don’t”. Pathetic. The only distraction I had was to try and get something up on my mobile phone for them to play with but I couldn’t get a reception on it. Typical!!
Harry was starting to engage the other diners by now in case they hadn’t seen her – he wanted them to be as amazed as he was. It was pure head in hands moment. I looked up to see people looking at me with pity. Clearly they could see my embarrassment and that I was doing everything I could to explain what was going on. I couldn’t make eye contact with the lady as I just had no words – I honestly just wanted to disappear. I even got the two of them to have a roaring competition as a means of distraction – anything, just anything to make it stop.
Much to my relief the Mum of his friend returned to the table, but that was short-lived because they then felt the need to point the lady out to her as well – who by this time was sat at the next table to us!! To the lady’s credit she did not make a thing out of it but that didn’t make the situation any less excruciating.
I know that as he progresses through life there will be plenty more scenarios that will crop up and more questions I will have to have answers for (even if I make them up). I can’t help that he is inquisitive and I don’t want to stop his curious nature. As I said at the start it isn’t ignorance, it is innocence, on behalf of the child and the parent. One is learning their way in life and the other is learning to guide them through it the best way possible. I hope that these last few experiences have made me stronger and I am better equipped to deal with them in future. I mean, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right???
Harry’s Honest Mummy x