He Said WHAT!?

Harry’s speech is coming on leaps and bounds and as it does the opportunities for public humiliation multiply.  As most of us know, a toddler has no volume control.  Most of the time it is set at maximum.  There is also no filter.  He repeats himself often just in case you didn’t catch it the first time, second, third…….  Often I am left thinking – He Said What!? whilst trying to run away quickly.  It seems he has a real talent for embarrassing me.

Here are just some of my favourite comments from the last few weeks.

(Potty training has been big on the agenda hence the toilet related theme throughout this post).

  1. It’s a man” – As we went for a walk through the park we came across a lady walking her dog.  She had short hair and wore a sports cap.  Fair play she was also wearing flat shoes, jeans and a big coat.  To the untrained eye she could have well passed for a man.  I explained that it was a lady wrapped up for the cold.  As we got to within touching distance, you pointed at her, laughed, and said loudly “no it isn’t Mummy, it is a man”.  I smiled politely and sped away.
  2. “Mummy you’ve not got a big willy………you’ve got a baby willy” – I had no words to respond.
  3. “Mummy I wee through my willy and you wee through your bottom” – On this occasion I was slightly more prepared.  I just nodded and said “that’s right Harry I do”.  He is not even 3, so I felt no need to elaborate.  I have only just worked out what to call his never mind how to explain mine away.
  4. “No Mummy, I NOT go in the water” – OK lets get this bit out of the way first, in my defence we were in the baby pool and he did have a swimming nappy on.  When H told me in his urgent voice that he needed a wee, I assessed the situation and whispered in his ear “do it in the water”.  He looked at me alarmed and said again “no Mummy, I need a wee wee”.  Again I turned to him and reassuringly said, “it’s OK pumpkin, just do it in the water”.  In total panic – with a slight hint of disgust – and at the top of his lungs he said “NO MUMMY I NOT GO IN THE WATER”.  As people turned around all they saw was a flash of my wobbly bits as we sprinted out through the changing room doors.
  5. “Mummy you will get your knickers wet” – In an effort to save time getting ready we both got in to the shower together.  I had no idea what he meant, for my knickers were in the wash basket.  And then I realised and made a mental note to book in for a bikini wax!
  6. “Mummy, I am a big boy I did a wee-wee…….and you did a poo”.  Proudly announced as we were walking out from the ladies toilet in a packed family-friendly pub.  We sat back down to finish our lunch, me crimson and not making eye contact with anyone and H basking in the glory of his big boy achievement.

Love you, you little monkey x

He Said What?!, Public Humiliation, Cheeky, Naughty

There is more from where this comes from.  So if you liked this post and fancy a giggle then please click here to read the follow-up.  Hope you enjoy it.

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26 Comments

  1. May 15, 2016 / 7:14 am

    So funny!!!!! Kids honesty is so brilliant and although embarrassing, you’ve got to love how they just say it exactly as they see it! xx KCACOLS

  2. May 15, 2016 / 7:33 am

    Oh I love this – too funny. They do say some embarrassing things don’t they. I always remember when I was pregnant with my youngest my 2 year old was a little obsessed with pregnancy and one day shouted at a rather large man -‘ Mummy look that man has a baby in his belly too’ #kcacols

    • May 15, 2016 / 7:51 am

      I was reading your reply and drinking a cup of tea. I almost choked on it laughing! 🙂

  3. May 15, 2016 / 8:24 am

    I love this, so funny! Kids are so “wonderfully” honest, eh? #KCACOLS

  4. May 15, 2016 / 5:15 pm

    This is sooooo funny! brilliant! and now you’ve written it you will never forget them – i must have forgotten so much – apart from the time my 3 year old announced at the top of her voice that the woman in the changing room was the biggest woman she had ever ever seen in her whole life – never forgotten that one! #KCACOLS

    • May 16, 2016 / 8:03 pm

      OMG – I would love to know how you got round that one! 🙂

  5. May 16, 2016 / 9:05 am

    Hahah this just made me laugh out loud, so funny! Kids really DO say the funniest things, and sometimes the most embarrassing!! #KCACOLS

  6. May 17, 2016 / 1:08 pm

    Oh these are brilliant! He sounds like such a little character! #KCACOLS

  7. May 17, 2016 / 7:52 pm

    BAHAHA this is so brilliant (yet horrifying) I have had quite a few mortifying moments with my two, it’s so awful but does make a good story later at least! xx #KCACOLS

    • May 18, 2016 / 6:08 pm

      They are the gift that keep on giving aren’t they! 🙂

  8. May 18, 2016 / 7:43 am

    So cute! This is a lovely way to record all those little moments and funny/embarassing sayings. PS. my twins also enjoy pointing out people’s gender- wrongly! #bestandworst

  9. May 18, 2016 / 4:36 pm

    The poo in the pub has to be the low point! It can’t get much worse…can it?! #bestandworst

  10. May 18, 2016 / 7:52 pm

    This is brilliant! I have just had a right good giggle, he sounds like a ball!
    Great post 🙂

    #KCACOLS

    • May 18, 2016 / 8:41 pm

      He is most definitely the gift that keeps on giving 😊

  11. May 18, 2016 / 8:32 pm

    haha the last one literally made me laugh out loud! Love that he thinks you wee from your bottom too – I have all of this still to come! #bestandworst x

  12. mummyfever
    May 19, 2016 / 7:42 am

    oh well done little man! Spectacular! I have two little ones doing things like this to me too – good job we have a good sense of humour. Thanks for linking up to #sharewithme

  13. May 19, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    God how funny! A hairy bikini !! I think mine needs to be ‘hemmed’ a little. What a cutie X

  14. madelinelittlejohns
    May 19, 2016 / 3:06 pm

    Hahaha, love it! I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and we have regular conversations about the fact that boys have winkies and girls don’t, they’re both fascinated by it! x #KCACOLS

  15. newmummyblogcom
    May 19, 2016 / 8:31 pm

    hahaha you saved the best til last! They’re all classics and it’s lovely (funny) you’ll have this to look back on and have a giggle/remember the embarrassment of it all 🙂
    Thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS hope you can link with Franca on Sunday too x

  16. May 22, 2016 / 7:38 am

    Oh my goodness! These are hilarious. I wouldn’t have known whether to laugh or cry at the ‘knickers’ and the poo in the pub toilet.

  17. May 23, 2016 / 4:40 pm

    I love these lol! Laughed out loud while reading on the train 😂 My son is at a very similar stage and it’s both hilarious and mortifying x #bestandworst

    • May 24, 2016 / 3:47 pm

      Thank you. Hope no one moved away from you on the train giving you strange looks 😄

  18. May 26, 2016 / 11:00 am

    So funny and I can relate so much B used to have the best saying, I always blogged about them on Phrase Day Friday but MM never had the same mishaps with words and funny convos that B had wonder if it’s a boy thing. It’s hilarious had a few of these myself. We were swimming in a river and B refused to wee in the water thought I was disgusting for even mentioning it. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope that you will continue to share with Charlotte over on Mummy Fever as she takes over Share With Me next week. #sharewithme

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