My little cheeky monkey is about to turn 2. I have no excuses left. It is time to get out of my rut, start taking more care of my appearance, and boost that confidence back to pre-pregnancy levels. What better place to start than the purchase of new underwear. Knickers to be precise.
Whilst my current stuff is OK, it isn’t very inspiring and it doesn’t ignite any passion. In truth it is purely functional. In fact, if I asked myself the question “if you got hit by a bus would you die of embarrassment at a room full of people seeing the choice of knickers you put on that morning”, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”
(I know what you are saying. If I got hit by a bus I probably would die anyway and it would be irrelevant what I was wearing, but you get where I was going with this).
So with a new found sense of purpose I marched off to the only place to buy underwear from, good ol’ trusty M&S. My only conditions were:
- No lace – I hate seeing patterns/hint of underwear through clothing
- No seams – As above
- No thongs – I must accept that I am not in my 20’s anymore. After a certain age you just look ridiculous in them. Bin them.
I spent ages looking around at all the different options – Shapewear, Shorts, Bikini, High Leg, French, Midi – and after much deliberation I decided on a style called “Brazilian”. It shows how long ago it was that I was last in the lingerie section as I didn’t even know that this style existed.
I raced home and with a new found sense of urgency I sorted through my knicker draw assessing which could now be relegated to dusters – actually the size and style that they were they could have probably been dustsheets – and which ones would live to see another day. A few days later and with a skip in my step I ventured out in my new brazilian knickers. In truth they weren’t that comfortable but I put it down to the fact that I just wasn’t used to them. But after a few days of chafing, the discomfort of which had forced me to make a change to my usual walking style, I decided that enough was enough. “Bloody brazilians”, “Just who was I trying to kid”, “Perhaps I am just the wrong shape”, “Probably just too old to look good in nice knickers anymore”,”perhaps my bum is just too big”, and then it hit me…….brazilians……..
I’d been wearing them back to front!
Whilst it confirmed that I am completely out of step with the latest knicker fashions, there was also a huge sense of relief that my body isn’t the wrong shape, my bum isn’t too big, and I am not too old to look good in knickers. Quite simply I am just clueless. Clueless but with a new sense of confidence, a happier husband, and a new set of dustsheets.
Harry’s Honest Mummy x